I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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