He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
MIDGETS
????
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
