do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
