I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
