hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
