I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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