My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
