How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I love you. Go after that dick
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
