I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
