i permit you to call me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
