We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
