if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
