Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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