In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
