Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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