I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
