i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
