The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
