the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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