Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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