p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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