some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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