I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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