I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
