do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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