i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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