Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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