i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
