Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
