just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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