My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They have beer where we have blood.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
