i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
