even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
