We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
