I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
