he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
