Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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