I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
