You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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