this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
