masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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