if only i could text you this smell
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
