The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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