the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
After tacos, we're chasing women.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
