In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
