i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
false alarm. still invincible.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
