you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
