what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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