Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
