i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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